Guacamole

From Wakipedia

The ancient Aztecs were the first to discover the healing properties of this wonder paste, as clearly documented in many of their stone carvings.

The first creation of guacamole, believed to have come from ancient astronauts seeking to give advanced medicine to the primitive peoples of Earth, probably took place a long time ago... we are talking serious time passing here, at least back to the point where no one was wearing digital watches.

The first use of guacamole probably happened by accident. A food servant cut themselves, guacamole made contact with the injury, and the stunned realization that the paste almost immediately cleansed the wound, and acted as a dressing. It makes antibiotic paste look meaningless and a waste of good coin.

More contemporary uses have been acknowledged as mainly a preventive to avoid diaper rash with small children, and possibly some rather confused adults.

Comments such as, "Why is there green paste in my underwear?" will always be asked, in that moment of clarity before recalling that they put it there in a clever attempt to prevent diaper rash.

No, for many of these, the truly enlightened question is more like, "What the deuce am I doing wearing a diaper, and why is duct tape covering my mouth...Hmmmm".

This probably ties in more reasonably with arguments against consuming too much tequila, but that is another topic.